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November 18, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Housing advocacy groups have alleged that a bank controlled by Steven Mnuchin, a top candidate to be President-elect Donald Trump’s Treasury secretary, engaged in discriminatory practices against...
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December 7, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. A bishop in the U.K. claims he can make men’s penises larger by massaging them with his hands. That story again, your uncle is now a bishop. 2. Twenty-two minutes after ‘The Chicago Tribune’...
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December 12, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. Last week it was revealed that President-elect Donald Trump will stay on as executive producer of “The Celebrity Apprentice” while he’s in office. Not to be outdone, his lead strategist Steve Bannon...
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January 12, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. The World Champion Chicago Cubs will visit the White House on Monday, just four days before President-elect Donald Trump takes office. Ah, I remember a simpler time when ‘World Champion Chicago...
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February 8, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Former President Barack Obama was spotted kite-surfing in the Caribbean. Which is like stalking your ex on Facebook only to find out he’s completely moved on and is doing much better without you. 2....
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February 14, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Monday, Playboy said its 2015 decision to stop publishing photos of naked women “was a mistake” and will reintroduce nudity in its next issue. Said the Playboy CEO, “Turns out you assholes were...
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June 30, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. A man in India has broken the Guinness World Record for longest time spinning a basketball on a toothbrush. I don’t know whose record he broke, but I think it’s safe to assume it wasn’t Anthony...
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July 14, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. President Trump on Saturday promised $639 million in aid to feed people left starving because of conflict in Somalia, South Sudan, Nigeria and Yemen. Which, I assume he thinks are neighborhoods in...
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February 2, 2018 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to reports, President Trump is considering firing Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. “I don’t like that sound of that,” said Steve Bannon upon hearing Rosenstein’s last name. 2....
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February 9, 2018 – Monologue Jokes
1. A woman in Florida claims an airline told her to flush her hamster down a toilet at the airport because the emotional support pet wasn’t allowed to fly with her. “Or, hear me out, you could go with...
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